Have you ever stepped on a chewing gum while you were walking? Or while you were driving, the person in front of you were driving 30km/hr and you were late for your interview at that time ? Or maybe you also had ordered a food at a restaurant, and you waited 1 hour before you got served?
I am pretty sure majority of you had experienced all or at least one of these situations. And the moment you were in that situation, you'll notice that your heartbeat will increase, it starts pumping the blood quickly throughout your body, you'll notice you'll starting to sweat and your mouth will starts to dry and even your stomach will hurt.
YES YOU ARE FEELING ANGRY RIGHT NOW
Before we start discussing about ways to cope with ANGER, we need to understand how does the anger actually occurs. Yes anger is a normal human reaction, if you never experienced anger, than you are NOT HUMAN. We reacts to the surroundings in different ways, we feel sad if we lose someone we love, we feel happy when we got we wanted, and sometimes we would feel angry as well, if something were taken from us, or if we faced threatening situations. being angry is one of the ways for us, human, to fight back and to stand our rights, we wanted to achieve that justice to whatever it is that seems wrong and unfair to us.
And anger also could come up with different emotions, like sadness, frust, guilt and any other emotions. These emotions gather around and it will cause anger which could be emitted whether by physical or verbal. But those emotions didn't act by itself, it has to be fed by our thoughts, irrational one.
okay you might be asking " if anger caused by negative and irrational thoughts, then does it mean that being angry is bad ?"
Well, not necessarily, anger can became productive and also destructive
Look at the example of event above. Generally, anyone would be mad, if you're getting knocked during the game "ouch", that hurts! and you have right to be mad about it. But see how both of these reaction differ from each other.
To make you understand a little more on how can you evaluate your type of anger, ask yourself these questions
You should know your answer to this and evaluate if your reaction of anger is productive or not. think back to the last time you feeling angry towards something or someone, answer those questions. If you couldn't tell, ask someone who might have seen you getting angry before.
SO now we have understand about our anger, we can easily identify whenever we feel like we were about to burst. Or so feel the sudden tense feeling coming out of your chest. Try our these easy quick steps to calm yourself;
1. Breath and relax
Close your eyes (unless you're driving, don't do that) and take a deep breath for 5 minutes. Try also listening to music, or singing a song and lay down for a while.
2. Rationalise
Rationalise your thoughts, the anger was the product from your thoughts and emotions REMEMBER? so why not try to rationalise things and forgive other people. Everyone did mistakes, and although we feel like we have the right to punish that behavior, we have to remember that we actually do not have the right to punish other people. Deal and talk to these people and settle everything in calmer and peaceful way. Remember, violence is not the key.
3. Meditate
By meditating, we actually could cleanse our mind and our thoughts. Focus on yourself, your emotions and your thoughts. Free yourself from those distractions that could fed your anger feelings. It will not only help you to overcome the anger, but it also can enhance your mindfulness skills.
If you feel like you wanted a further consultation regarding your anger management, you can simply reach out to the https://iamfeelinggood21.wixsite.com/website.
Source: Burns, David D. Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy. New York, N.Y: Penguin Books, 1981. Print.
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